What Attracts Biz Readers? Take This Test
By Dean Rotbart
They're self-aggrandizing. They're full of hype. They promise more than they can deliver. My wastebasket is overflowing with them. I wish they'd stop sending them to me.
No, I'm not talking about unwanted news releases and media kits.
I'm talking about solicitations from financial news organizations that'll throw in everything from a jumbo calculator (5-7/8" x 7-3/4") to a briefcase (features a total of 17 different pockets, pouches and compartments) just for subscribing to their newspaper, magazine, newsletter or in one case, applying for their affinity credit card.
Journalists, of course, will disavow all responsibility for these blatant come-ons, laying them off on their publishing siblings.
Yet, lest we let them forget, it is these very same come-ons that are the bait that draw in their readers. More to the point, perhaps the next time a self-righteous reporter or editor invokes those precious readers in explaining his or her "right to know," you might inquire whether the journalist means those subscribers who correctly affixed their "20 Free Issues" sticker on The Wall Street Journal's detachable return postcard, or those subscribers who actually took the time to listen to Investor's Business Daily's "one-hour audio cassette entitled 100 Ways to Improve Your Investment Results." That's one way every .6 seconds.
Personally, I'm most impressed whenever I enter the office of a business executive who still uses his or her Fortune all-plastic desk phone and personal business organizer - a subscription premium which, to the consternation of many late night television viewers, I believe the magazine has discontinued.
Regular readers of this column by now may be wondering what, if any, profound hidden messages and media relations insights I've uncovered by thoroughly examining dozens of newspaper and magazine solicitations that I've collected over the past year or so.
Just one.
There is very little relationship between what most news organizations bill themselves as, and what they actually deliver to readers. The same, I believe, can be said of how journalists view themselves and what they actually deliver to readers. But that's another column.
For now, as an end-of-summer thumb-twiddler, I thought I'd excerpt some of the subscription pitches that have crossed my desk and see how many of them you can correctly match with their sponsoring news organizations.
If you get more than half of them correct, you should get out of the office without delay and head to the nearest beach. The answers follow the questions.
(only one answer per question)
1. "Do you really need ____________? That's the question you may be asking now. The answer is yes - if you eat, sleep, dress, drive, watch TV, use computers, shop for your home or your family."
A. The Wall Street Journal
B. SmartMoney
C. Consumer Reports
D. Newsweek
E. Mutual Funds Magazine
2. "For over 70 years, one publication has stood out from the crowd as the indispensable resource for business achievers like you. The same publication judged 'most influential magazine in America' in the 1992 Erdos & Morgan/MPC survey of 1,700 opinion leaders."
A. Fortune
B. Business Week
C. Kiplinger's Personal Finance
D. Harvard Business Review
E. Financial World
3. "Unlike other papers or TV, which focus so much on the negative or unimportant, ____________ gives you a steady, healthy diet of success stories and role models, and of course, a gold mine of new investment possibilities. We filter out the opinions, rumors, gossip and other background noise so often found in business, economic and market coverage."
A. Journal of Commerce
B. USA Today
C. Christian Science Monitor
D. Investor's Business Daily
E. Success!
4. "Along with everything else, ____________ will help you enrich your lifestyle. You've earned it! So...lease a castle for the summer. Climb the tallest peaks on each continent. Sail a yacht across an ocean. Buy your own private island. Add to your art collection, and maybe have it appreciate, too. Enjoy more of the world's finest hotels, restaurants, resorts."
A. Bloomberg Personal
B. Kiplinger's Personal Finance
C. Forbes
D. Worth
E. Investor's Business Daily
5. "If you're pressed for time, you can easily scan ____________ for the most important news of the day. Or you can relax over a cup of coffee and immerse yourself in insightful columns...."
A. Time
B. Vanity Fair
C. The Wall Street Journal
D. Forbes
E. Barron's
6. "In ____________, you'll find a multitude of stock quotations listed for your convenience - along with interest rates, oil prices, and more. You'll get useful charts and tables on the markets of greatest significance to you, including coverage of mutual funds."
A. Barron's
B. The Wall Street Journal
C. Investor's Business Daily
D. Journal of Commerce
E. Money
7. "Written by America's top financial writers, knowledgeable reporters who dig deep, come up with the facts, and lay them on the line for you to use to your advantage."
A. Fortune
B. Institutional Investor
C. Financial World
D. Business Week
E. Barron's
8. " [We're] the fastest growing newspaper in America."
A. The Wall Street Journal
B. The New York Times
C. USA Today
D. The American Banker
E. Investor's Business Daily
9. "If we fail to impress you with the quality and quantity of the financial information we offer. If we fail to delight you with the substance and depth of our reports and analyses. If we fail to help you become a sharper, shrewder, smarter investor, we'll refund all your money. Not part of it - all of it."
A. Barron's
B. Money
C. Bloomberg Personal
D. Individual Investor
E. SmartMoney
10. "Because our friends and subscribers represent a vital force in the business community, we wanted to give them the best credit card possible. The ____________ Platinum Visa card delivers a level of quality and service we are happy to recommend, plus you'll save on your ____________ magazine subscriptions...."
A. The Robb Report
B. Harvard Business Review
C. Consumer Reports
D. CEO
E. Forbes
Answers: 1(C);2 (D); 3 (D);4 (A);5 (C);6 (B);7 (E);8 (E);9 (A);10 (E)
August, 1997
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